How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
