Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
