Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
