oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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