I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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