He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
