so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
