i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
do herpes really smell.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
