Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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