Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
