That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
