You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
