she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
