Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I can't turn off my feet"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
