haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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