did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize