I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it hurts more in the daytime
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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