Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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