watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize