So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize