My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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