you would pick up someone in the library
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
