They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize