Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
