from now on my penis is your penis
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
