Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just high enough for therapy.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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