That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
we're chasing vodka with high fives
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
