all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
