So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
