I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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