So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize