I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize