I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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