escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Four minutes until I can fart!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You were trust falling into bushes
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
