dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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