there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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