let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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