holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
