I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
