and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
