This is not my ceiling
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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