is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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