I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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