i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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