U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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