Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
