The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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