I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
