I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
