The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
