in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
