Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
