how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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