Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
