I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
