Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
where am i from again
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
