As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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