sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
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