i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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