i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
