i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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