you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Blood and glitter go together right?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
