Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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