Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
