Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
