i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
