why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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