Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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