is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
