i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
