she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I woke up under a house in Key West
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