it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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