Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
